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Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Day My Wife Began Eating As A Senior Citizen


It was a sad, sad day for the unbuttered multigrain toast and raw tomatoes, but in the back of the kitchen, sausages and bacon everywhere were rejoicing, exultant.


Quietly, to be sure, fearful that their new-found security might be noticed.


Don't ask me why my wife, devourer of sausage; slayer of the dreaded Frankfurter king of Rothchild IV; liberator of the Little Links independent colony on Onioch Prime; heroine of the Freedom Footlong movement; saviour of the Autonomous Wienerwurst Peoples of Alpha Onias III; glib and fearless adventurer of the harrowing porkbelly nebulae; butcher of the Bacon Beast of Beta Delphini; terrorizer and all-around timeless foe of all meats processed, decided to take it easy on the sausages of this particular diner, on this particular day, but it was a landmark day.


One which will always be remembered.  


The nefarious Bacon Peoples of Beta Delphini are certainly plotting their vengeful comeback.

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