Well... just in case someone doesn't (in which case I've assuredly made them feel even stupider than I do) I thought I'd do a quick post on it and maybe they can stumble over here to my humble blog and learn how.
First (this is important).
CHILL your implements.
So, a mixing bowl (metal works great for this), and either a strong whisk or your electric mixer attachments.
Once those are chilled, bring out everything you need. Flavourings (at its most traditional, this is with vanilla and white sugar), chilled implements, electric mixer, and the cream (which - I hope I don't need to say - has been chilling).
Dump in your whole container of cream, and about a tablespoon each of vanilla and sugar.
Then, it's just the beat-down time. Start beating on medium or slow if you prefer, and just watch the cream transform BEFORE YOUR EYES. heh heh heh.
Stage 1: Creamy
Stage 2: Frothy
Stage 3: Velvety
Stage 4: Light and airy
That's it.
It's done.
Use to dress up many desserts, like, for example, Strawberry Shortcake Tortenboden.
:)